How Relationships Work

[paraquat]

I'm sorry man^^^^^ If you can live through that, and keep your head up, then nothing can phase you.

[brycickle]

At least it wasn't your dad.

[pugmaster]

Turn your negative circumstances into productivity.  Productivity> whatever bullshit they pull

[gaunting]

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This one is very recent, February to be exact. I started dating this girl in 2008, fell in love with her. She was honestly the only thing that made me happy, we had so much in common, it was insane how much I loved this girl. My ex is a tattoo artist, so she would always be tattooing me and my homies. My BEST friend, who I grew up with and considered a brother, went up to her shop with her back in August of last year, he had the brilliant idea of telling her I had been cheating on her with my ex ( which was completely false) needless to say she believed him. After that we tried to work things out, but it just got worse, she said she couldn't trust me. Not to mention, a week before my "friend" stabbed me in the back, I bought her an engagement ring. Anyway, in February of this year, she said she couldn't do it anymore. Not 2 weeks later she already had a new boyfriend who she met in some bar. After that, I went into a deep, deep depression. I started drinking every day, doing heroin, and have tried to commit suicide three times this year, most recent being a month ago when I drove my car head on into a tree when I was wasted, didn't die, just totaled my car. It was getting so bad, that I got kicked out of the band I was singing in, and literally almost all my friends have turned their backs, because they can't handle my depression. As of now I have nothing, lost my girlfriend of 5 years, my car, got layed off from my job in January, and have little to no contact with any of my close friends. I literally am on my own now, never felt like this in 25 years of living, now I have nothing but a potential heroin addiction, and a constant thought of suicide. I'm just now starting to feel normal, but I know I have a ways to go. The stories I've read?  in this topic give me inspiration though, it makes me realize I'm not the only one who has felt this pain, and that life will get better if I want it to, thanks to everyone for sharing.

[close]

that's heavy. wishing you the best of luck on your recovery. try getting outdoors and into the fresh air more. keep it positive and stay off the junk - that shit will ruin you. you got this!

[close]

That sucks your friend did that.?  Better to weed those type of people out of your life early on though!?  There are way way WAY more fish in the sea so don't trip.?  The best thing you can do is be productive.?  The best revenge is success.?  Find what makes you happy and run with it.?  Life is too short to waste on a girl who doesn't trust you or some jackass who would pull some shit like that over some ass.?  I bet you anything, after five years of running a tight ship and having your shit together, you won't look at him or her in the same light.?  They will be an afterthought, a mere catalyst for you moving onto the next phase of your life.

I really appreciate the words, thank you.

[castillo's curls]

This thread bums me out. I recently met a chick that I'm into, and I think she likes me back. Can't wait till it all goes horribly wrong, which it invevitably will.. .

[KOOL MIKE]

im hearing all these stories about getting burnt by your best friends but im not hearing the parts where you kicked there fucking asses or are all you american kids self pitying fuckboys

[slappyslap]

everyone cheats man and woman that's just the truth.

[DISTANT RUMOURS]

im hearing all these stories about getting burnt by your best friends but im not hearing the parts where you kicked there fucking asses or are all you american kids self pitying fuckboys

As much as id like to kick the guys ass, im literally twice his size, im not going to pay for him for the rest of my life...so I didnt fight the dude, i wanted to but my parents eventually convinced me not to.

I posted nudes of my ex on some messageboards I knew she was on ( her university messageboard and stuff). The best friend got his 4 tyres stabbed and I posted his phonenumber on tons of local gay dating sites...

Fuck em both.



Karma treated me well. Ive got a good gf for over 5 years now.

[paraquat]

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im hearing all these stories about getting burnt by your best friends but im not hearing the parts where you kicked there fucking asses or are all you american kids self pitying fuckboys

[close]

As much as id like to kick the guys ass, im literally twice his size, im not going to pay for him for the rest of my life...so I didnt fight the dude, i wanted to but my parents eventually convinced me not to.

I posted nudes of my ex on some messageboards I knew she was on ( her university messageboard and stuff). The best friend got his 4 tyres stabbed and I posted his phonenumber on tons of local gay dating sites...

Fuck em both.



Karma treated me well. Ive got a good gf for over 5 years now.

Honestly curious: did doing that shit make you feel better?

[gaunting]

im hearing all these stories about getting burnt by your best friends but im not hearing the parts where you kicked there fucking asses or are all you american kids self pitying fuckboys

Well I'm not 16 anymore, so I don't go around looking for fights

I'm on probation for assault

And my "friend" or so I thought, is much bigger than me, I'm a little guy, I know when to say no, I've had my ass beat, not looking for that again.

[DISTANT RUMOURS]

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im hearing all these stories about getting burnt by your best friends but im not hearing the parts where you kicked there fucking asses or are all you american kids self pitying fuckboys

[close]

As much as id like to kick the guys ass, im literally twice his size, im not going to pay for him for the rest of my life...so I didnt fight the dude, i wanted to but my parents eventually convinced me not to.

I posted nudes of my ex on some messageboards I knew she was on ( her university messageboard and stuff). The best friend got his 4 tyres stabbed and I posted his phonenumber on tons of local gay dating sites...

Fuck em both.



Karma treated me well. Ive got a good gf for over 5 years now.

[close]

Honestly curious: did doing that shit make you feel better?

I'm not into stuff like that normally. But they deserved it... so yes.

[KOOL MIKE]

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im hearing all these stories about getting burnt by your best friends but im not hearing the parts where you kicked there fucking asses or are all you american kids self pitying fuckboys

[close]

As much as id like to kick the guys ass, im literally twice his size, im not going to pay for him for the rest of my life...so I didnt fight the dude, i wanted to but my parents eventually convinced me not to.

I posted nudes of my ex on some messageboards I knew she was on ( her university messageboard and stuff). The best friend got his 4 tyres stabbed and I posted his phonenumber on tons of local gay dating sites...

Fuck em both.



Karma treated me well. Ive got a good gf for over 5 years now.

fuck yeah dude

[KOOL MIKE]

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im hearing all these stories about getting burnt by your best friends but im not hearing the parts where you kicked there fucking asses or are all you american kids self pitying fuckboys

[close]

Well I'm not 16 anymore, so I don't go around looking for fights

I'm on probation for assault

And my "friend" or so I thought, is much bigger than me, I'm a little guy, I know when to say no, I've had my ass beat, not looking for that again.

aint nothin a crew or weapons can't fix

[gaunting]

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im hearing all these stories about getting burnt by your best friends but im not hearing the parts where you kicked there fucking asses or are all you american kids self pitying fuckboys

[close]

Well I'm not 16 anymore, so I don't go around looking for fights

I'm on probation for assault

And my "friend" or so I thought, is much bigger than me, I'm a little guy, I know when to say no, I've had my ass beat, not looking for that again.

[close]

aint nothin a crew or weapons can't fix

lol, true that, I like the way you think.

[ice nine]

both of you are fucking idiots

[Frank]

10 months since my last breakup. i still love her, she still likes me, but has a guy as far as i know and it's no use anyway. we haven't talked or had any contact at all for the last 7 months. i'm still down with her friends in my city(she lives three hours away) and with her roommate who is also still a good friend of mine, i still hang out with her and her boyfriend, who also skates. however, it's like there's a conspiracy going on to make sure she and i will not meet, not even by coincidence. for example she skipped the birthday party of a mutual friend of ours because she knew i'd be there. it's super weird. i really have no hopes of coming clean with her again, whatever that means. i don't talk about it with her friends because i'd prefer we could adress each other directly. i guess we will meet by coincidence and it's gonna be awkward as fuck... anyway, i've gotten used to it and now i remain with a pretty cynical view about relationships, though i had 4 of them that lasted a year or more. now when i think of entering a new relationship it all comes down to me wondering how it will end this time.

stay strong, tfuckina.

[few123456789]

The voice of wisdom as a 30+ year-old for all you buddies is to forget every girl you wrote about in this thread. 

You'll find someone better.  Trust me.  The fact that you're this penis-hurt means you're probably a pretty decent dude.  Also, I'm not sure about the age group here, but it's my personal experience that girls are really nuts between ages 20-26.  After that they start to settle.  That sounds really sexist, but I have so many buddies and too many stories to back it up. 

All said, you're going to be OK.  Forget the girl.  Find the woman.

[StFlour]

is it me or are skateboarders sort of anti-social. at least some of the pros have to be.

[KOOL MIKE]

both of you are fucking idiots

your girlfriend is probably fucking your best friend right now

[Sleazy]

I'm not sure about the age group here, but it's my personal experience that girls are really nuts between ages 20-26.  After that they start to settle.  That sounds really sexist, but I have so many buddies and too many stories to back it up.  

it's not just girls. i saw a relationship therapist years back with a girl and the therapist was explaining that it's extremely rare for anyone to be capable of handling a serious, committed relationship until after mid 20s. i eluded to this in my earlier post were i pointed out how important getting shit on is to eventually having a successful relationship.

i'd guess most of these stories occurred under 25 and if you asked the girls that were talked about they would have similar war stories about getting shit on. the key to success is coming out of it ready to settle down (mid to late tweeties) and the right kind of jaded. you need to be jaded and determined to succeed not jaded and thinking the other sex is useless. finding a girl who also came out the right kind of jaded will get you there (with a ton of work over the years). keep in mind it's a big thing, you are trying to find a life partner. you know someone to have kids with and who will be at your bed side if you get terminally ill. might take a while to find the right person.

i'm 40, with 3 kids and happily married. i've been with my wife for about 15 years or so and it's still a ton of work. but seeing the other people we know have their lives fall apart because they either didn't have the right foundation or aren't putting in the work makes us know that taking it serious and putting in the work is well worth it.

[paraquat]

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both of you are fucking idiots

[close]

I'm  girlfriend is probably fucking your best friend right now

Fixed

[KOOL MIKE]

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both of you are fucking idiots

[close]

I'm  girlfriend is probably fucking your best friend right now

[close]

Fixed

damn straight i fuck this kids whole crew

[skateordie]

in response to the last couple of fellas who said "you/your ex are prob in your 20s"- the girl i mentioned in this thread (the one w/ all the guy friends who turned out to be exes) was in her mid 30s, as was i. however, to your point- she was very immature. very selfish and superficial. and never once passed the Bronx Tale "door test". that sonny, a wise man indeed.

[few123456789]

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I'm not sure about the age group here, but it's my personal experience that girls are really nuts between ages 20-26.  After that they start to settle.  That sounds really sexist, but I have so many buddies and too many stories to back it up.  

[close]

it's not just girls. i saw a relationship therapist years back with a girl and the therapist was explaining that it's extremely rare for anyone to be capable of handling a serious, committed relationship until after mid 20s. i eluded to this in my earlier post were i pointed out how important getting shit on is to eventually having a successful relationship.

i'd guess most of these stories occurred under 25 and if you asked the girls that were talked about they would have similar war stories about getting shit on. the key to success is coming out of it ready to settle down (mid to late tweeties) and the right kind of jaded. you need to be jaded and determined to succeed not jaded and thinking the other sex is useless. finding a girl who also came out the right kind of jaded will get you there (with a ton of work over the years). keep in mind it's a big thing, you are trying to find a life partner. you know someone to have kids with and who will be at your bed side if you get terminally ill. might take a while to find the right person.

i'm 40, with 3 kids and happily married. i've been with my wife for about 15 years or so and it's still a ton of work. but seeing the other people we know have their lives fall apart because they either didn't have the right foundation or aren't putting in the work makes us know that taking it serious and putting in the work is well worth it.

Congrats on such a successful marriage...I hope to follow in your footsteps

[few123456789]

in response to the last couple of fellas who said "you/your ex are prob in your 20s"- the girl i mentioned in this thread (the one w/ all the guy friends who turned out to be exes) was in her mid 30s, as was i. however, to your point- she was very immature. very selfish and superficial. and never once passed the Bronx Tale "door test". that sonny, a wise man indeed.

Single woman in her 30s is also a red flag.  If she's hot.  If she's average maybe it's just taking her a while.  Just saying...

[JB]

The voice of wisdom as a 30+ year-old for all you buddies is to forget every girl you wrote about in this thread.�

You'll find someone better.� Trust me.� The fact that you're this penis-hurt means you're probably a pretty decent dude.� Also, I'm not sure about the age group here, but it's my personal experience that girls are really nuts between ages 20-26.� After that they start to settle.� That sounds really sexist, but I have so many buddies and too many stories to back it up.�

All said, you're going to be OK.� Forget the girl.� Find the woman.

i agree. it does get better.

and i didnt believe this until i started dating my girlfriend now, but all that depression and sadness you experience after you lose someone makes you a much stronger and smarter person. you get a much better idea of how relationships work, or at least how they should work. you learn that people can be really nice to you one day, then completely shit on you the next. and the more you grow up, you sort of realize that having a serious relationship in your 20s is really fucking hard. people in their 20s for the most part are fucking idiots (me being one of them). its part of life, and when the shitty things happen, hopefully you learn from them. once you have a girl who breaks you heart, youll be much smarter with the next one you choose to be with.

[skateordie]

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in response to the last couple of fellas who said "you/your ex are prob in your 20s"- the girl i mentioned in this thread (the one w/ all the guy friends who turned out to be exes) was in her mid 30s, as was i. however, to your point- she was very immature. very selfish and superficial. and never once passed the Bronx Tale "door test". that sonny, a wise man indeed.

[close]

Single woman in her 30s is also a red flag.  If she's hot.  If she's average maybe it's just taking her a while.  Just saying...

no doubt. and she was stunning- that's why i stuck it out for so long (as lame as it sounds).

but isn't it a double standard of sorts to say it's a red flag for a chick in her 30s to be single, but not for dudes?

[Frank]

The voice of wisdom as a 30+ year-old for all you buddies is to forget every girl you wrote about in this thread. 

You'll find someone better.  Trust me.  The fact that you're this penis-hurt means you're probably a pretty decent dude.  Also, I'm not sure about the age group here, but it's my personal experience that girls are really nuts between ages 20-26.  After that they start to settle.  That sounds really sexist, but I have so many buddies and too many stories to back it up. 

All said, you're going to be OK.  Forget the girl.  Find the woman.

100% my experience, too. i'm defs through with the young girls. i have probably flirted with more late 20s single moms than anything else in the last half year.

[few123456789]

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in response to the last couple of fellas who said "you/your ex are prob in your 20s"- the girl i mentioned in this thread (the one w/ all the guy friends who turned out to be exes) was in her mid 30s, as was i. however, to your point- she was very immature. very selfish and superficial. and never once passed the Bronx Tale "door test". that sonny, a wise man indeed.

[close]

Single woman in her 30s is also a red flag.  If she's hot.  If she's average maybe it's just taking her a while.  Just saying...

[close]

no doubt. and she was stunning- that's why i stuck it out for so long (as lame as it sounds).

but isn't it a double standard of sorts to say it's a red flag for a chick in her 30s to be single, but not for dudes?

Honestly no, it's way easier to catch something as a hot woman than even a good looking guy in your 20s.  Girls date/COMMIT up in age but guys generally don't.  Is what it is.

[Rumpleforeskin]

To quote the almighty Bukowski:  ?Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less.?
This is definitely one of the better threads in Whatever, good shit. You guys rule!